Negative thoughts can be the ultimate relationship killer. We know from research that there is a very tight feedback loop between a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so having negative thoughts can definitely send you down the rabbit hole. It is important to know your unique thought patterns that can lead to major relationship problems. For example, you may hold beliefs from early in life, or a more recent past experience, that no one can be trusted and will take advantage of you or cheat on you. You may believe you are unlovable or that you can change your partner if they love you enough. You also might notice yourself engaging in catastrophic thinking like believing everything is ruined after one argument or all or nothing thinking such as if things aren’t perfect then the whole relationship is a failure.
The following is a seven step guide to stopping negative thoughts from ruining your relationship.
Don’t forget that individual and couples therapy can be helpful to recognize and correct these patterns and improve your relationship’s overall health. In some instances it may be time to break up, but figuring out these patterns and how to make some importance changes will improve future relationships.