It can be difficult enough to move on after a breakup, but when there is an established dynamic of continuing to contact your partner (and vice versa) after the relationship ends, this can turn from difficult to toxic. These types of contact can be hurtful and confusing, and ultimately prevent you and your ex from being able to process the break up and move on. In some instances, when there is repeated contact post-breakup, one or both of you may be fishing for some sort of reaction. For example, you might text your ex because you are still angry and trying to provoke them and continue to argue. Another instance might be repeated bids to get your ex to reconsider the break up. If this type of thing is happening, establishing a “no contact” rule for a period of time whether mutually agreed upon or not may be helpful. It is healthy to be able to recognize when a relational dynamic is unproductive or harmful and to set boundaries in response to that. Sometimes once the “no contact” period is up, neither one of you may have any desire to contact the other. In other cases, you might feel like you want to reach out. Before doing so, I would recommend going through the following steps.
Lastly, in some instances it is just not appropriate to have any future contact. If you want to reach out but the relationship was abusive, this would fall into that category and I would recommend blocking your ex’s number, email addresses, and ability to contact you on social media.